let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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