I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
