it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
