I faked an abortion last night.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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