Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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