I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So apparently I’m into choking now
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
