Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
