thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
