That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
