I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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