Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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