And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
