And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
