hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
