Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
