Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
