I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Randomize
