I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i now understand why vodka
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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