I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
