I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
