i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
