no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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