they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
