im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
