last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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