Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
