She's JV to your varsity
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
