suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
