The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
