Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
