You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
