You're so nebulous sometimes
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
