I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
