she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
