the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
