Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
