I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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