In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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