Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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