She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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