Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
