She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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