just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
