not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize