fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
