Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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