were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
