Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am available for nakedness
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize