Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
bring money and cleavage
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
