Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
