Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Semen is not good for contacts.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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