Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
