im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
