So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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