Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
