What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
